


you don't know the chances

by smooth



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Spoilers for 2x05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 09:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2647139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smooth/pseuds/smooth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Octavia suspects there's something between Bellamy and Clarke and one time it practically slaps her in the face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you don't know the chances

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BellarkeShipsItself](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellarkeShipsItself/gifts).



> Inspired by 2x05 and almost entirely based on it. Also first work for this fandom (first work for a heterosexual couple??) so sorry if I made a mistake anywhere.

i.

She’s exhausted and she hasn’t bathed in what feels like years and there’s a sharp grinding feeling in her empty stomach, like it’s eating itself up. Bellamy is walking next to her and even though the girl he saved is heavily leaning on him, limping and whimpering softly with every step, Octavia feels his eyes on her the whole time. Stupid selfless brother who probably hasn’t eaten in twice as much time, his whole face in deep scratches and scars, and there is iron and fire in his look, different from the malice towards the Council back in space, different from the insolence with which he ordered kids left and right when they first came to the Earth.

He’s better now. More mature. Even more broken. Stupid selfless brother.

The girl whose name Octavia didn’t bother to remember and Monroe are both sent to Medical by Dr Griffin to be taken care of the moment they enter camp and she and Bellamy stay behind, not exactly sure what to do now. They don’t have much time to ponder upon it before a blonde figure swoops towards them and crashes violently into her brother’s body.

Bellamy takes a step or two back, trying to keep his balance, and Clarke because that’s nobody else but her wraps her arms tightly around him with an almost ferocious need. He stays frozen for a couple of seconds before hugging her back and she buries her nose in his neck even though he’s muddy and probably smells like crap (if Octavia can judge by her own odor).

Octavia has seen her hug only one other person like that.

“Well, there’s something I thought I’d never see,” She just can’t help saying it with a crooked smile because no way is she showing her discomfort with such an intimate-looking display. Just to make it even more awkward, Clarke and Bellamy don’t pay attention to her at all; they continue hugging for a long moment before drawing back and the blonde gives her brother this look filled with hope and ardor and tenderness, and ardor and tenderness can’t coexist but they do, right now, in her eyes and Bellamy’s staring back at her like- like-

Clarke’s embracing her now and Octavia instinctively hugs her back and says “I’m glad you’re okay” because she is and Clarke smiles back and nods, “You too”, and it’s true but there’s only gentleness in her pupils now and none of the fire.

 

ii.

Bellamy, Clarke and Raven are hidden under the shed, fumbling with a couple of backpacks, and she knows what they’re doing even from a distance (god, they’re so obvious, stupid selfless-)

“Did you find Octavia?” Bellamy asks with that half-brotherly, half-fatherly tone she both loves and hates.

“No,” She trots startling the three of them, “I found you. I’m not letting you leave without me,” She replies with conviction.

“Octavia-” Clarke starts with that mother hen air Octavia’s begun to associate with her and even though it’s kind of endearing, Octavia is about to punch her if she keeps on acting like the mommy to Bellamy’s daddy.

Wait, that didn’t sound right…

“Finn and Murphy are headed for Lincoln’s village,” She says, partly to chase that last idiotic thought off her head. “I’ve been there. Have you?” She points at her brother. Bellamy bows his head in that conciliatory manner grown-ups do when they have to deal with petulant children and she can’t help but try to prod him a little by nodding towards Clarke, “Has she?”

“You done?” He almost interrupts her and she just gapes at him because come on-

Clarke mutely hands him one of the backpacks and he outstretches it to her. Octavia keeps on staring at him like the idiot she feels she is right now.

“What’s this?” She mumbles, the corners of her mouth already forming a smile which he matches.

“A pack,” He says, shouldering a heavy gun. “Lead the way.”

Later, when Raven’s friend has turned the fence’s power off and they’re wandering through the forest, Octavia wonders when freaking Clarke Griffin started understanding her brother better than her.

Maybe it did sound right after all.

 

iii.

She can feel Bellamy staring at her for more than half an hour now. So many thoughts are troubling her mind, Lincoln and the rest of their friends, and the wound on her head she hasn’t told anyone about but it keeps pulsing nonetheless, and the fact that she’s kind of used to basically not getting sleep by now. She’s itching and hurting in so many places, and the backpack under her head is kind of lumpy but Bellamy obviously needs to be left alone with his thoughts and she’s in no way taking that away from him.

Suddenly the heaviness of his eyes on her frame disappears and she plucks up the courage to open slightly one of her eyes. And sees him looking at Clarke now. His face looks odd, somehow _soft_ despite the roughness of his previously unblemished skin, like he’s about to smile but not quite managing to.

The blonde shifts and opens her eyes almost immediately and Octavia can’t tell whether she has a great sixth sense or has just been quiet until now, giving him space like Octavia has.

She also has the good grace to wait for him to speak up.

“Last time I saw you, you were closing the dropship door,” He says quietly and it doesn’t sound like the accusation it should be.

Clarke doesn’t say anything but she doesn’t have to, the tuneless chanting of _forgivemeforgivemeiwasgoingtoliveallmylifeknowingitwasmyfault_ in her head is evident on her face.

Bellamy, of course, doesn’t need to hear it out loud to understand.

“It had to be done,” He speaks again, all the assurance in his voice, _ithadtobedonehadtobehadtobeandyoudidgreat._

It’s not enough to reduce her guilt, Octavia thinks, or at least it wouldn’t be if she was in Clarke’s place, but Clarke smiles lightly, almost imperceptibly at him, before sitting up. Perhaps it’s enough for now.

“Did you get any sleep?” She asks.

“It’s okay,” Bellamy shrugs, “I’ll sleep when we find Finn.”

Octavia remembers the two of them, her brother and Finn, face to face snarling at each other because Finn was the good guy and Bellamy was the asshole and every story is supposed to have a good guy and an asshole and a girl in the middle, but nobody said anything about the good guy and the asshole befriending each other. And the girl isn’t supposed to look at the asshole the way Clarke is looking at Bellamy right now.

What a fucked up fairy tale they’re in.

“You haven’t seen him, Clarke,” Her brother’s voice is pained when he speaks, “losing you, the others, the war… it changed him. He executed the grounder that drew us the map. Pulled the trigger without even blinking and walked away,” Every word is dripping with hurt, with guilt, with anger, and Octavia knows Bellamy is blaming himself just as much as Clarke does, because it was him who was supposed to be the monster. The others were supposed to stay pure.

“That doesn’t sound like Finn,” Clarke shakes her head, appalled, but realization is dawning on her face and she doesn’t really look like she doesn’t believe what she’s hearing.

“No,” Bellamy agrees, his voice breaking, “it doesn’t. I saw what he was capable of and still I let him go with Murphy and two automatic rifles.”

Now is the time for Clarke to start defending Finn, to say he would never hurt anybody because the Finn she knows really wouldn’t but then again the Octavia Octavia knows wouldn’t either. They all have changed.

“I’m sure that had to be done too,” Is what Clarke says instead and she’s not defending Finn, she’s defending _Bellamy_ , her b r o t h e r, and Octavia just decides to tune herself out, she should not listen to this, it’s not her _right_ to listen to something so… so…

Only when she involuntarily hears something that sounds almost safe (“First we find Finn, then our people in Mount Weather,” Bellamy decides), does she interfere because they’re not the only ones who love and she’s just a girl, after all.

 

iv.

It’s after they go back to camp Jaha when Octavia gets convinced she is not imagining things. They had had to because of Finn’s killing rampage and his condition after but her brother had promised they would leave to find the rest of their people (and _Lincoln_ _,_ he’d emphasized) the morning after. Bellamy had been like a stone wall, walking between a terrified Clarke and Finn, desperately trying to explain himself to her, and her and Murphy had trudged awkwardly behind, wanting to be anywhere else. The moment they arrive back ( _home_ , it’s _home_ now, Octavia reminds herself), Finn loses his shit and grabs Clarke’s arm with a heated “Please, Clarke, I can explain!”

The blonde pulls away with a disgusted face and one way or another, finds herself closer to Bellamy.

“Explain what?!” She croaks. “I don’t even know who you are anymore!”

Finn steps back with a lost expression. Bellamy puts a comforting hand on Clarke’s shoulder but when he speaks, he speaks to Finn.

“There’s no need for everyone to hear this, go in-”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Finn snarls at him. “This is between me and her.”

“You killed innocent people,” Bellamy raises his voice but keeps it clear and reasonable. “I think you need some time on your own.”

“It’s not safe for her to be around me,” Finn scoffs and crosses his arms, “that’s what you’re saying.”

Something shifts on Bellamy’s face and for a moment he looks like he’s about to run away or start yelling or maybe punch Finn.

“Yes,” He says after a long pause. “Her safety is a priority.” He looks at Clarke who has been staring at him the whole time. “And so is your mental stability. You should rest.”

Finn stays frozen at his place as Bellamy puts his palm in the small of Clarke’s back and with a soft “come on” leads her to one of the tents. Octavia decides to get away from there because bearing with shitty situations is not exactly her forte.

She walks around the camp senselessly for the rest of the afternoon before hunger starts clawing at her insides again and she decides it’s time to go back to the tents. And because she’s lucky, she runs inside the one where…

…her brother is sitting on the ground, his legs outstretched, his eyes looking at the ceiling, with Clarke’s sleeping head on his thighs.

He hears the noise and jumps a little, and then just stares at her. Octavia stares back. Clarke doesn’t wake up.

Bellamy blinks and opens his mouth. “I-” He offers then shuts up and tries to disentangle his fingers from blonde hair as discreetly as possible.

Octavia doesn’t say anything, just turns around on her heel to leave.

“Octavia,” Her brother groans desperately behind her and she can’t help the grin on her face.

Stupid selfless _smitten_ brother. He's gonna get though hell if he wants to be with this girl but still she hasn't felt happier for him in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm wolflexa on tumblr, come say hi.


End file.
